The Verdict of Odin
by slyloki
Summary: Odin announces Loki's sentence. He totally thought of it, too. All by himself. CRACK


The Verdict of Odin

A/N: I can totally see Frigga manipulating Odin into doing whatever she wants him to do over and over until he gets it right.

* * *

"He gets it from you."

Frigga set her goblet of tea down gently and turned to eye her husband. "What was that?" She asked.

"That's right, you. The flair and the drama and the- everything. This is _your _influence."

"Ah," the Queen murmured. "You speak of Loki."

"Aye. He's so damn like you, I wonder you weren't with Laufey."

"Hm," she responded softly. "Is that what you think?"

"Yes," and then: "No. You are as lovely as they come, wife, but it was Beauty herself that bore Loki to that ugly Giant- no other could have beaten that abhorrent blood. Loki is a welcome sight for any that ever gazed upon that bastard Laufey. It's what took my eye, you know, the visage of his old, wretched face."

"Is that so?" Frigga prodded.

"Indeed. Perhaps that is why Loki tried to destroy Jotunheim. He simply wanted to assure himself that no one could trace him to such unfortunate looking beasts."

"Perhaps. And his treason against Asgard?"

"Well!" Odin exclaimed. "I'd have been a bit angry knowing I was related to the wrinkly sack, myself."

"I see." Frigga smiled at her husband. "And what will you do for your poor son, my King?"

Odin scratched his beard. "I couldn't, in good conscience, punish him for a justifiable outcry. Midgard, though, that was rather rude of him. The humans are not so ugly."

Frigga patted her husband's arm and took a sip of her tea. "Say he was jealous?"

"Aha!" Odin stood from his throne and ignored the questioning gaze of his court. "Hear me, all gathered: I have thought long on what actions should be taken against my son, Loki, and finally I have come to a conclusion!"

The people of the court broke out into load whispers. Thor, sitting with Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, turned a perplexed look onto his friends. "Should I retrieve Loki?"

Sif threw her hands up. "Why bother? This is the third time. The Allfather will simply renounce his verdict by the week's end and come up with a new one before the month is out."

"People!" Odin slammed Gungnir into the ground and everyone stared up at him in silent anticipation. "Due to Loki's unfortunate- ah..."

Here, Odin turned to his wife. "I did not think this speech out."

Frigga shook her head. "Happenstances!" She called out.

"Happenstances!" Odin repeated, loudly. "Yes, ah, Loki is to be declared innocent on all charges. Carry on!"

What was once whispers turned into shouts as the ladies and gentlemen of the court expressed their displeasure at the news that Loki would not be punished for his crimes.

Frigga cleared her throat delicately and the room became quiet once more. "Thank you for supporting your Prince, _my son_, in his most troubling time. My family and I are grateful to you good peoples of Asgard. Feast richly, tonight, in celebration!"

Heads turned to other heads as everyone wondered what in the Nine the Royal family had in their goblets. "I don't know what it is," said one particularly meaty warrior, "But I do wish they'd share."

"By the Gods!" Came a screech from the doorway. Loki stood there, flanked by two guards, whom had taken it upon themselves to bring Loki to the feasting hall to hear his sentence. "It's contagious! The crazy, I got it from _you_!" He pointed at Odin.

Odin frowned. "You seem tired, my son. You should rest. Your unfortunate happenstances must have drained you immensely."

"He's been resting for damn near two months, now, waiting on your father's _permanent _verdict." Sif whispered to Thor. "How could he possibly still be tired?"

Thor shrugged. "Loki is delicate," he whispered back, though the entire hall could hear because Thor does not know how to whisper. "I'll escort him to his room, father."

Odin nodded as Thor lead his brother away, Loki spitting and hissing and kicking the whole time. "I've made the right decision, again, wife. I'm glad I thought of it."

Frigga smiled softly at her husband. "As am I, King. What would we have done if you hadn't?"

* * *

Well, that was utterly pointless.


End file.
